Desk Job
by Jelsemium
Summary: Mira helps Commander Nebula evade an enemy.


Prologue: Star Command headquarters was a satellite high above Capital Planet. Their technical support was matchless, for the Little Green Men's intelligence was enhanced by their ability to share thoughts through their Group Mind. So Star Command was equipped with the latest and greatest of high tech defenses and the most creative weaponry their technicians could devise. It was one of the safest places in the known galaxy… but even the best of automated defenses has its limits. That's where the brave male and female beings known as Space Rangers came in.

Buzz Lightyear of Star Command

(well, Mira Nova of Star Command, actually):

Desk Job

By Jill D. Weber

Ranger Mira Nova poked her head through the door and scanned the hall warily. "All clear, sir," the scarlet haired Tangean princess reported as she pulled her head back into the room. Then she opened the door and allowed her commanding officer to precede her into the hallway.

Commander Nebula stomped through the door. His gait was made awkward by the pegleg that had replaced his right foot. He could have had an artificial foot, but the pegleg came with a too-tempting guy gadget… a foot cannon. "Thank you, Mira," the granite jawed veteran said gruffly, stroking his white handle bar mustache. "I wish I could do more than thank you," he added as they hurried down the corridor. "This goes far above and beyond 'above and beyond the call of duty'."

Mira flashed him a quick smile, the white of her teeth contrasting nicely with her aqua skin. "I risk my life for strangers all the time. Why shouldn't I help a friend?" she asked quietly. She ghosted her head through the next wall. "This corridor's clear, too," she said. She blushed when she realized that Commander Nebula couldn't hear her, then the blush faded when she realized that a mistake nobody heard doesn't count as a mistake, right?

She pulled back and repeated her observation about the corridor. Then she held out her hand so she could ghost them both through. "Come on, it will be faster this way," she said.

Commander Nebula hesitated and harrumphed. "I'd rather go through the door."

This was a mistake, because the few minutes it took them to traverse the corridor was plenty of time for the ambush to be set. 

Mira yelped as her legs were swept out from underneath her, sending her crashing to the ground.

"No!" cried Commander Nebula. He'd faced down many a vicious criminal in his day, but this threat was enough to make a coward out of the greatest of heroes…

Mira somersaulted down the hall, then leaped to her feet and whirled to find Commander Nebula facing off with his worst nightmare. His desk.

"Can't you leave me alone?" griped Nebula. "This paperwork has gotten out of hand! In order to get anything done, first I have to request a requisition form. Then I have to fill in the requisition form, in quintuplet, in order to get the form that I needed to fill out in the first place! And I have to do that with every form I have to fill out!"

The desk spat a pile of papers out onto its writing surface and offered its pen to Nebula.

"I don't want to do paperwork now! I want to go out to dinner! Is that too much to ask? One date?" Nebula growled as he grabbed the pen and started signing papers.

By way of an answer, the desk shot another pile of papers from its fax. 

"Craters!" swore Mira. "I'm sorry, Commander," she apologized. "I shouldn't have let the desk catch me off guard like that."

Nebula sighed. "Not your fault, Ranger," he said. "This blasted desk can find me no matter where I try to hide. It can outsmart even Buzz. We didn't have a chance."

A slip of paper emerged from the fax machine, then retreated, in a very good imitation of a tongue sticking out.

"That tears it!" snarled Mira. She grabbed the commander and ghosted through the floor. Then she punched a button on her envirosuit and wings popped out of her jet pack. She barreled through the station. (And when Mira Nova goes *through* something, that is *not* a figure of speech; she ignored such minor distractions such as doors, walls, floors.)

Nebula gulped and closed his eyes. It just wouldn't suit his rough'n'tough image to deck the halls with his lunch. Closing his eyes was acceptable because nobody could see him. Fortunately, his ship was standing ready to go so the Desk didn't have a chance of catching up.

"So…" Mira said brightly as they strapped in. "Tell me about your date? Who is she? Where'd you meet her? How long have you known her?"

Normally Nebula would have resented that kind of prying, but, considering that Princess Mira Nova had just done him a galaxy-sized personal favor, Nebula felt obliged to answer. "Her name is Jade. I met her at one of those interminable mixers that the president loves to throw. She's the ambassador from Weber's World. I don't really know her well. Just that she's pretty, witty and wanted to learn more about Star Command in an 'informal setting.' " 

He smiled slightly. "Then she asked me out to dinner." Nebula paused and stroked his moustache. Then he asked, almost anxiously. "Do you think I'm being… well… foolish? To go out with a woman I barely know?"

Mira laughed. "Of course not, sir! The idea behind a date is to get to know somebody better."

Nebula cleared his throat. "Exactly." Then he muttered something about the stupid desk not wanting him to have any fun. Mira decided not to hear that.

*** Chapt. 2 ***

They landed on a private field away from the main government buildings. Far away from any buildings, in fact. The grove of elegantly tall trees and flowering bushes surrounding the area concealed the spaceport from the rest of the planet. It concealed a few other things as well.

Mira stepped out onto the tarmac, blinking a little in the late afternoon sunshine. "This place looks more like a park than a space port," she said. She didn't notice the figures in camouflage rising from the shrubbery and aiming at her. 

"Weber's World treats its ambassador's well! So, where's your date?" she started to turn… then everything went black.

*** Chapt. 3 ***

When Mira woke up, it was dark. She shook her head groggily. "Commander?" she asked, looking around. 'Don't be silly, Nova,' she told herself. 'If Commander Nebula was around, he wouldn't have left you lying on the cold ground for so long!" 

She rubbed her sore neck and encountered a small dart. "Craters! That's the second time today that I've been blindsided! The Commander must have been kidnapped! Or worse."

She searched the area, but there was no sign of the Commander.

"Which means he was kidnapped," Mira mused. "Why take him away just to kill him? And why leave me alive if they're going to kill anybody?" She tapped her comlink. "Ranger Nova to Star Command. Do you read me? Star Command? Buzz?"

"Mira!" Buzz Lightyear's voice dripped with relief. "Mira, are you all right? Where are you? Where's the Commander? Do you need medical attention?"

"Whoa, Buzz, slow down," Mira looked around and rubbed her sore neck again. "I'm okay… not *fine*, mind you, but operational. I'm at the private landing field of the Weber's World embassy. Commander Nebula had a date with Ambassador Jade."

"Yes, well, now we have a ransom note from Weber's World," Buzz said grimly. "They want the secrets of the LGMs group mind or they're gonna kill the Commander."

"Oh, no! I helped them kidnap him!"

"Easy, Mira, you had no way of knowing this was a set up," Buzz said soothingly. "Now, we're pretty sure they still have to be on Capital Planet. Did you see anything that would give them a clue as to where they might have taken the Commander?"

"Nothing," Mira said. "I got blindsided. I didn't see a thing. Sorry, Buzz."

"Not your fault," Buzz assured her. We have to find the Commander," Buzz said in disgust. 

Mira bit her lip, feeling shame for letting the Commander get kidnapped out from under her nose and feeling embarrassed at letting herself get blindsided twice in one day. Suddenly, the two thoughts merged and she said. "I think I know how to find him, Buzz. Come on down… and bring the Commander's desk with you."

*** Chapt. 4 ***

Commander Nebula gripped the bars of his cage tightly. Both his wrist laser and his foot cannon had been neutralized. His ranger was down, maybe dead. And, to add insult to injury, he had been captured like the greenest of rookies. He glared at his captor, not that it made any impression on her, since her back was turned. "What do you want with me," Nebula growled.

"From you? Nothing, Commander," drawled Ambassador Jade. "From the Little Green Men, quite a lot… starting with their Group Mind."

Nebula couldn't believe his ears. "You expect Star Command to just… hand over the LGM's Group Mind to you without a fight?" he bellowed. 

"Yes," Ambassador Jade said smugly. She was a short human with grey hair and eyes, dressed in a blue jumpsuit. A few days ago, Nebula had thought she was pretty. Now he loathed the very sight of her. 

"You're crazy," Nebula snarled. To himself, he added that he should have listened to his desk.

"Perhaps," Jade said, narrowing her eyes. "But perhaps the crazy lady is the one to fear, yes-no? By now, they'll have found the body of your oh-so-helpful little rangerette and they'll know that we mean business. They won't want to sacrifice their precious Commander…"

"Which is why we're going to rescue him," said a voice from the ceiling. Jade and Nebula looked up as Mira Nova floated down to land between her commander and his captor.

Jade's eyes went wide. "You should be deceased!"

Mira cocked her head, wincing a little at a twinge, and aimed her wrist laser. "Why?"

"The simbidian toxin should have killed you!" cried Jade.

Mira made a face. "Oh, get real, simbidian toxins don't affect Tangeans! I mean, well, they do, but not, you know, *fatally*."

Suddenly there was a small army of drones surrounding Mira. "But getting shot in the heart should affect you, you know, *fatally*," Jade sneered. "You should have brought the reinforcements."

The roof of the building gave a shriek as it was peeled back by a large, red-skinned, egg-shaped Joadian. Booster Munchapper was normally a kind and amiable being, but right now he did not look kind or amiable. In fact, he looked downright murderous.

As did all the other rangers who ringed the area, including a small robot which seemed to be mostly armaments and teeth. Leading the group was the legendary Buzz Lightyear himself.

The small army of drones promptly surrendered.

There was nothing left for the Ambassador to do but make a break for the exit and her Personal Escape Craft. However, the Jade's flight was cut short when she tripped over something. She hit the ground hard and rolled over on her back to see what had tripped her.

She found herself nose to drawer with Commander Nebula's desk. The desk spat a stream of paperwork on top of her to pin her to the ground.

"Now that's what I call being buried in paperwork," Buzz drawled as he set down near the Commander and cut the lock on his cell.

"Good work, Rangers," Nebula said. "Especially you, Ranger Nova. You're due for a commendation for this!"

"But I let you get kidnapped!" Mira protested. She looked at his desk. "And I had to ask for help from your desk to find you!"

"Don't worry about it," Nebula said. "Anybody can be fooled, but you used your head, and the tools at hand, to turn the tables on the bad guy. Very nicely done, Ranger."

All the desk drawers opened and slammed shut.

Nebula cleared his throat. "Sorry, you turned the *desk* on her very neatly," he amended. "Good work, to both of you."

"You cannot imprison me!" sputtered Jade. "I have the diplomatic immunity!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill," Mira said. She strode over to the half buried kidnapper and put her foot up on the drawer that the desk obligingly extended for her. 

"We can't prosecute you or imprison you… BUT we CAN have you declared 'persona non grata' and have you deported." She smiled wickedly at Commander Nebula. "But before you can be deported, you have to fill out all the proper… paper work." 

Nebula laughed. "And that's going to take a while. First of all, you have to request a requisition form…"


End file.
